Jokes for Children: Anesthesia
By Gavin Traber & Jorge Delgado (under the supervision of Sam Rodriguez, MD)
Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A: A gummy bear
Q: What has 4 wheels and flies?
A: A garbage truck
Q: Why was cinderella so bad at soccer?
A: She was always running away from the ball
Q: What do you call a cow with two legs?
A: lean beef
Q: What do you call a cow with no legs?
A: Ground Beef
Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: Put a little boogie in it
Q: Why did the bicycle fall over?
A: it was too tired
Q: What type of Doctor is always “On-Call”?
A: An Oncologist
Q: What did the mushroom say to the fungus?
A: You’re a fun guy [fungi]
Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An impasta
Q: Why are fish so smart?
A: Because they live in schools!
Q: What do you call twin policemen?
Q: What do you call a cow during an earthquake?
A: A milk shake!
Q: What do you get if you cross a frog with a rabbit?
A: A bunny ribbit.
Q: What gets wetter the more it dries?
A: A towel!
Q: What did 0 say to 8?
A: Nice belt!
Q: What do you call a snail on a ship?
A: A snailor!
Q: What do you call a fish without an eye?
Q: What is black, white and red all over?
A: A sunburnt penguin! or a Newspaper
Q: What did the peanut say to the elephant?
A: Nothing, peanuts don’t talk.
Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Climb up a tree and act like a nut!
Q: Where do fish keep their money?
A: At the River Bank
Q: What did one cow say to the other?
A: Mooooooove over!
Q: What is black and white and red all over?
A: A skunk with a rash.
Q: What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?
A: With a cowculator.
Q: What do fish take to stay healthy?
A: Vitamin sea.
Q: Why did the superhero flush the toilet?
A: Because it was his doody!
Q: What time should you go to the dentist?
A: When its about Tooth-Hurty
Q: What do you call a blind dinosaur?
A: A do-you-think-he-saw-us
Q: What do you call a guy lying on your doorstep?
A: You call him MATT
Q: Where do young cows eat lunch?
A: At the Calf-ateria
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars?
A: Because you can see right through them
Q: What’s black and white and makes a lot of noise?
A: A zebra with a drum kit.
Q: Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
A: Because he was looking for Pooh!
Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: You put a little boogie in it.
Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An Investigator
Q: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
A: Ten tickles
Q: What do snowmen have for breakfast?
A: Frosted Flakes
Q: What type of Bee can’t make up its mind?
A: A Maybe
Q: What do you call cheese that’s not yours?
A: Nacho Cheese
Q: What do you call a sad strawberry?
A: A Blue-berry
Q: Why did the banana go to the doctor?
A: Because it was not peeling well
Q: What kind of music is scary for balloons?
A: Pop music
Q: What is a Mermaid’s favorite subject?
Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
A: Of course! The Empire State Building can’t jump.
Q: What did the duck say when it bought lipstick?
A: Put it on my bill
Q: If you have 10 apples in one hand and 14 oranges in the other, what do you have?
A: Really, really big hands.
Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
A: Because if they flew over the bay, they would be Bagels
Q: What do you call a fly without wings?
A: A walk.
Q: How do you catch a rabbit?
A: Lay really low in the grass and make noises like a carrot
Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
A: A stick.
Q: What is red and looks like blue paint?
A: Red paint
Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter?
A: Because it’s too far to walk
Q: Why do sharks swim in salt water?
A: Because if they swam in pepper water, they’d sneeze!
Q: What did the hamburger name its daughter?
Q: What do you call it when two giraffes bump into each other?
A: A giraffic jam!
Q: What did the tie say to the hat?
A: You go on ahead and I’ll hang around!
Q: Where did Tigger find Pooh?
A: In the toilet
Q: What is the foot’s favorite food?
Q: How do Earth, Mars, and Venus have a party?
A: They planet
Q: What did the iPhone have for dessert?
A: An apple pie
Q: What do you call a strawberry that likes to spin?
A: A berry-go-round
Q: How did the chewing gum cross the road?
A: By sticking to the chicken’s foot.
Q: What did one wall say to the other?
A: I’ll meet you at the corner.
Q: What did the Zen master say to the hot dog vendor?
A: Make me one with everything.
But wait! There’s more!
Wanna hear a joke about cheese pizza? Nah never mind this joke is too cheesy
How about a joke about a broken pencil? Nope, that one’s pointless
Two snowmen are standing in a field. One snowman looks at the other and says, “Do you smell carrots?”
Two fish were in a tank. The first fish says to the other: “How do I drive this thing?”
Two muffins are cooking in the oven. The first muffin says, “wow it really is hot in here.” The second muffin says “Aaaah! A talking muffin!”
Two Pretzels were walking down the street.
One was assaulted.