Jokes for Children: Anesthesia

By Gavin Traber & Jorge Delgado (under the supervision of Sam Rodriguez, MD)

Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A: A gummy bear

Q: What has 4 wheels and flies?

A: A garbage truck

Q: Why was cinderella so bad at soccer?

A: She was always running away from the ball

Q: What do you call a cow with two legs?

A: lean beef

Q: What do you call a cow with no legs?

A: Ground Beef

Q: How do you make a tissue dance?

A: Put a little boogie in it

Q: Why did the bicycle fall over?

A: it was too tired

Q: What type of Doctor is always “On-Call”?

A: An Oncologist

Q: What did the mushroom say to the fungus?

A: You’re a fun guy [fungi]

Q: What do you call a fake noodle?

A: An impasta

Q: Why are fish so smart?

A: Because they live in schools!

Q: What do you call twin policemen?

A: Copies!

Q: What do you call a cow during an earthquake?

A: A milk shake!

Q: What do you get if you cross a frog with a rabbit?

A: A bunny ribbit.

Q: What gets wetter the more it dries?

A: A towel!

Q: What did 0 say to 8?

A: Nice belt!

Q: What do you call a snail on a ship?

A: A snailor!

Q: What do you call a fish without an eye?

A: Fsh!

Q: What is black, white and red all over?

A: A sunburnt penguin! or a Newspaper

Q: What did the peanut say to the elephant?

A: Nothing, peanuts don’t talk.

Q: How do you catch a squirrel?

A: Climb up a tree and act like a nut!

Q: Where do fish keep their money?

A: At the River Bank

Q: What did one cow say to the other?

A: Mooooooove over!

Q: What is black and white and red all over?

A: A skunk with a rash.

Q: What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

A: With a cowculator.

Q: What do fish take to stay healthy?

A: Vitamin sea.

Q: Why did the superhero flush the toilet?

A: Because it was his doody!

Q: What time should you go to the dentist?

A: When its about Tooth-Hurty

Q: What do you call a blind dinosaur?

A: A do-you-think-he-saw-us

Q: What do you call a guy lying on your doorstep?

A: You call him MATT

Q: Where do young cows eat lunch?

A: At the Calf-ateria

Q: Why are ghosts bad liars?

A: Because you can see right through them

Q: What’s black and white and makes a lot of noise?

A: A zebra with a drum kit.

Q: Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?

A: Because he was looking for Pooh!

Q: How do you make a tissue dance?

A: You put a little boogie in it.

Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?

A: An Investigator

Q: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

A: Ten tickles

Q: What do snowmen have for breakfast?

A: Frosted Flakes

Q: What type of Bee can’t make up its mind?

A: A Maybe

Q: What do you call cheese that’s not yours?

A: Nacho Cheese

Q: What do you call a sad strawberry?

A: A Blue-berry

Q: Why did the banana go to the doctor?

A: Because it was not peeling well

Q: What kind of music is scary for balloons?

A: Pop music

Q: What is a Mermaid’s favorite subject?

A: Algae-Bra

Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?

A: Of course! The Empire State Building can’t jump.

Q: What did the duck say when it bought lipstick?  

A: Put it on my bill

Q: If you have 10 apples in one hand and 14 oranges in the other, what do you have?

A: Really, really big hands.

Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

A: Because if they flew over the bay, they would be Bagels

Q: What do you call a fly without wings?

A: A walk.

Q: How do you catch a rabbit?

A: Lay really low in the grass and make noises like a carrot

Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?

A: A stick.

Q: What is red and looks like blue paint?

A: Red paint

Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter?

A: Because it’s too far to walk

Q: Why do sharks swim in salt water?

A: Because if they swam in pepper water, they’d sneeze!

Q: What did the hamburger name its daughter?

A: Patty

Q: What do you call it when two giraffes bump into each other?

A: A giraffic jam!

Q: What did the tie say to the hat?

A: You go on ahead and I’ll hang around!

Q: Where did Tigger find Pooh?

A: In the toilet

Q: What is the foot’s favorite food?

A: Dori-toes

Q: How do Earth, Mars, and Venus have a party?

A: They planet

Q: What did the iPhone have for dessert?

A: An apple pie

Q: What do you call a strawberry that likes to spin?

A: A berry-go-round

Q: How did the chewing gum cross the road?

A: By sticking to the chicken’s foot.

Q: What did one wall say to the other? 

A: I’ll meet you at the corner. 

Q: What did the Zen master say to the hot dog vendor?

A: Make me one with everything.


But wait! There’s more!


Knock knock

Who’s there?

Interrupting cow



Wanna hear a joke about cheese pizza?  Nah never mind this joke is too cheesy

How about a joke about a broken pencil?  Nope, that one’s pointless

Two snowmen are standing in a field. One snowman looks at the other and says, “Do you smell carrots?”

Two fish were in a tank. The first fish says to the other: “How do I drive this thing?”

Two muffins are cooking in the oven.  The first muffin says, “wow it really is hot in here.”  The second muffin says “Aaaah!  A talking muffin!”

Two Pretzels were walking down the street.
One was assaulted.